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My broken foot is pretty well mended and I go back to work tomorrow! That means less reading and writing and more reality (boo-hoo) - Anywho...I've brought this up in so many conversations recently that I thought I'd share my new found knowledge with everyone! I read Stephen King's "On Writing" and sincerely loved it (I promise to use adverbs extremeLY rareLY from now on)...but one part in particular is sticking with me...
He is talking about writers and talent and says,
"...I can't lie and say there are no bad writers...Writers form themselves into the pyramid we see in all areas of human talent and human creativity. At the bottom are the bad ones. Above them is a group which is slightly smaller but still large and welcoming; these are the competent writers...The next level is much smaller. These are the really good writers. Above them---above almost all of us---are the Shakespeares, the Faulkners, the Yearses, Shaws, and Eudor Welrys. They are geniuses, divine accidents, gifted in a way which is beyond our ability to understand, let alone attain...While it is impossible to make a competent writer out of a bad writer, and while it is equally impossible to make a great writer out of a good one, it is possible, with lots of hard work, dedication, and timely help, to make a good writer out of a merely competent one." Stephen King
I get what he is saying for writers, but what about relationships? We are over-stimulated by the "genius" love stories - the perfect love from a soul mate that clicks your life's puzzle into place then, dot-dot-dot, happily ever after.
Let's face it - it you ask yourself if you are "in love" with the person you're with and the answer is "no", there is nothing you can do to turn it around no matter how hard you try. But if I extrapolate from Mr. King, with hard work, competent love can be made into good love.
The soul mate perfect love thing is for movies and books. Our real lives consist of a lot of competent love and that's OKAY!! How can competent love be turned good? Therapy? Date nights? More love-making?
Probably every one is different, but maybe if we diss the ideal as unrealistic and cross-off the bad because we are in love, we can all work harder on turning our competent love into good love